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Overshare…

Posted on April 2nd, 2018 in Women Confessions

I hate that I have to do this.

I know telling people is a good thing to do, but I have no one I can tell. I’m a youth pastor, and I’m scared my leaders will take that away from me if they find out. Plus the woman who’s meant to be specifically pastoring me would not be able to handle this so I can’t tell her.

I’ve been struggling with this for a year. Been saved for nearly two years. Was already addicted for a year before then, and used to identify as bisexual – managed to work through that part of it with God. Even though I’ve got through the sexuality part, I’m still watching porn like every day.

I’ve prayed about this so much. I’ve cried about this so much. I bought a stupid phone. I tried to make it a rule that I only use my laptop during the day but never stick to it.

I’m really worried about how this is gonna affect my (hopefully) future marriage. I’m single at the moment and have a lot of free time, so loneliness and boredom don’t help with this problem.

This website’s nice though, makes me feel a lot more normal.

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