I’m Ready to Let go and Let God…..
I’ve struggled with lust for a long time. The age I can remember it intensifying is around 11-12. And, still to this day, it’s a struggle. As I got older those lustful thoughts began to get stronger and soon those thoughts turned in indulging in romance movies and novels. The novels and movies weren’t satisfying me anymore so that turned into masturbating and then masturbating turned into pornography. Finally, when all of that wasn’t enough it turned into fornication. I’m almost 20 and I began having sex at 14. I began to live an extremely promiscuous lifestyle and it affected it everything. It affected my grades, friendships, relationship with family, and most importantly my relationship with God. And the worst part of this all is that nobody knew why I began to act differently. I was living a secret life, a lie, a burden that I’ve carried around way too long. I know I need to confide in somebody but I feel like I have no one. I’ve tried to reach out to people at my church and all I got was little to no response and I’m hurt by that. I’m going to begin looking for another church. I’m just ready to let go and let God. I’ve been holding on to this way too long.