I am done
My name is Christiana, and I’m addicted to porn and sex. When I was 6 years old I was sexually molested by a female cousin, I thought that if I forgive her I wouldn’t struggle with this anymore. When I was 8 years old I was sexually molested by a male cousin who lived with us for 12 years, as I got older I realized the trauma that I experienced and used people to gratify my sexual desires. I would become disgusted with the people I would engage in sexual relations with after the fact and also disgusted with myself. It was too much for me. I would literally not talk to people for months or years and just leave them alone after I got my “fill”, and then play victim after I would be done. Lately I have been talking to this guy, who I know is not God’s best for me but I’ve just been wanting the attention- we did not have sex but we’ve talked about it which tempted me to watch porn yesterday and I fell into that temptation. I know God wants me to be free He sent Jesus to die for me & this particular struggle, but for some reason I cannot shake it. I am too ashamed to tell anyone but I need accountability.