I started going to a men’s group about ten years ago, and saw overwhelming success for nearly four years. I did not look at porn or masturbate during that time. Then I read a book by Doug Weiss that talked about masturbation, and the way it was talked about it did not seem like it was a sin, just not advisable. This started a period of about 4.5 years of occasional masturbation, but no porn.
This last March, after a failed relationship, I gave in and looked at something inappropriate online. I justified it by reasoning how frustrated I was. I immediately repented and installed Covenant Eyes. I forgot, however, how addicting it can be.
Now I am coming off a terrible week. I literally looked at porn about ten minutes ago. I started going to a group on Wednesday nights, but I have looked at porn twice since then. I have hope in God’s forgiveness, but I am so frustrated that I allowed myself to get back into this cycle.