don’t know where to go
when i was in high school, i had a real problem with porn. when i got saved, God totally delivered me… about 5 years later, i stumbled and struggled with it again for 2 years.
i got free again, though it was much harder, got into ministry, met my wife and had a family.
recently, i began flirting with disaster again: lying to myself saying as long as it’s not nudity i’m not sinning that bad. eventually i fell in. i felt horrible and so guilty… i told my wife that same day, but didn’t tell the whole story.
everyday she would ask questions… I didn’t feel right lying to her, so i told her more and more everyday. finally, every detail came out today.
i’m afraid my wife is done with me. she doesn’t want me around, thinks i’m a fraud, and that i have no place in the ministry.
i don’t know what to do… i feel so ashamed. i just wanted it to all be out so i wouldn’t go back into that same life i came out of. now my marriage is collapsing, my wife wants me to leave the ministry, and to not come home. I’m just so lost and don’t know to do.