Brandon’s Full Confession
I confess that I have been addicted to porn since I was a child. Anger, loneliness, bordem, rejection, fear, shame and my past often drive me to watch porn. As a kid I used to watch porn daily and even have sex with stuffed animals. I have put up a very strong battle, by reading, joining small groups, internet filters praying ect but I still am not completely healed from it. I used to watch it every day for hours but now I find myself falling into it once a month.
I am newly married and when my wife and I were dating I confessed that I struggled with porn. She went off on me, judged and shamed me and I never talked to her about it again. When she asks me how I am doing with it I tell her I’m doing well but I’m still struggling. My pastors at the time were also very condemning about porn so I definitely did not talk to them.
I’m not satisfied sexually in my marriage. My Wife doesn’t have the sex drive or experience that I have. When our sex life is going well it’s much easier not to think about porn. But when she has her times when she is too busy with ministry, too tired or just plain not available I suffer in silence. Also a lot of things that I used to enjoy in porn or wemon from my past my wife dose not do or enjoy so that Fuels me to watch porn or to reflect on old sexual experiences with others. Lately I have been having dreams about lust and finding a new sexual partner ect. Thanks for listening.