10 years of hell
My first encounter with porn was when I was 12 at my old house. My cousin spent the day with us and throughout the day told us how he had seen a picture from his brothers phone of a nude Miley Cyrus. That night, he slept over, I asked him to describe to me how the image looked like. Fast forward a few months later and I’m on the computer at night by myself and my curiosity of what a naked woman looked like had been in my mind for so long…I looked it up. Ten hellish years later porn, and its cousin masturbation, have continued to ruin my life and every relationship I have. I have moments where I want to hate myself so bad for my bad choices. I live in fear of being unworthy of love from anyone, I question my relationship with God everyday. I went through a course at church called “The Bondage Breaker” and went through all the steps and was delivered from this addiction. Only to fall a week or two later. I know I’ve made bad, scratch that, terrible choices in my life, but I need to know if there’s still a chance I can live the life God wanted for me. And to hopefully experience happyiness and love in it.